Monday, May 12, 2014

Weddings

I'm not a girly girl.  I don't have the fantasy wedding I've dreamed of or whatever ridiculous rom com trope is floating around out there.  Truth be told, it turns out I don't know much about weddings at all... except that no, I cannot "wear that periwinkle chiffon dress anywhere."  Seriously.

So now that we're engaged, and people are starting to ask us questions we can't answer, I've been trying to do some catch up.  And based on the googling and pinteresting (that is a terrifying place, by the way) I've been doing, I have learned a few things about internet wedding (IW) information:

1) DIY means something very different to IW people than it does to me.  I'm thinking maybe I'll bake some cupcakes or do something funky with my bouquet.  These people want you to sculpt miniature birds out of clay, individually stamping each one with each guest's name.  These people want you to painstakingly fold thousands of origami flowers.  These people want you to do do screen printing and calligraphy.  These people assume you have tons of vintage, shabby chic (whatever the hell that means) buttons all over your house just waiting to be turned into boutonnieres for your army of groomsmen.  These people make their own wedding rings.  WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE!??!

2) Every IW website that tells you they have cool, interesting ideas for unique venues has the exact same ideas... and none of them are that unique.  Really?  Country clubs let you get married there?  Who knew?  People get married on hot air balloons?  Tell me more!  My parents' backyard?  Amazing!  Of all these websites I've visited, almost none of them has had a place I would genuinely call unique.  Maybe the one that suggested a library.  That was kinda cool.  But seriously... just because it's not in a church and/or hotel doesn't mean you're reinventing the wedding as we know it.

3) As far as I can tell, Pinterest is nothing but a black hole of shame, daring you to make your wedding into some a shabby chic, hipster masterpiece worthy of all the re-pinning in the world... and threatening to doom you to some weddingfail tumblr for all eternity should your nuptials be found wanting... and yes... they will be found wanting.

It's entirely possible that I'm overreacting here.  But this whole planning a wedding thing is pretty intimidating.  And we haven't even really started yet.

Gulp.