"Back to the Commonwealth, Back to the Commonwealth, Back to the Commonwealth of Independent States!" - Wayne and Garth
In less than two weeks I'm headed back to Russia for another June of intense training and intense theatre... and I feel kind of unprepared. Last year there was so much build up and anticipation, but this year there has been very little prep work. I haven't been working on my Russian (yikes), we didn't have a pre-Moscow training session, we didn't have many meetings... so the fact that I'm jumping on an airplane in eleven days to begin the most intense month of my life - AGAIN - has been escaping my conscious understanding for the moment. This weekend I bought a pair of comfy walking sandles. I did go over some numbers and colors in Russian yesterday, hoping that might help jump start things. In the next day or two I'll be putting together a shopping list for the trip - maybe buying all the blister band-aids, ibuprofen and cold meds, and sunscreen will knock me into gear. Or maybe it just won't land until I do. The fact is - everything about my life this summer is very different from where I was at this same time last summer, so maybe it's just all the change that seems to be defining me right now that makes the idea of going to Russia so unfamiliar. I don't know what it is... but whatever it is, it's definitely time to start getting my ишак (ass) in gear.
Hey... maybe FEAR will get me motivated!
Things that scare me about going to Russia this year:
- I have not been working out this year like I was last year (plus, I'm a year older)... so the physical work is probably going to be even tougher
- I'm the group coordinator this year, which means I'll have some weird, undefined set of extra responsibilities on this year's trip
- I've been on this trip before... so I'm supposed to know stuff or something
- I came back from a five day trip to Denver and my kitten had grown. I can't believe how different she's going to be after a month!
- I am currently studying for my qualifying exams, which will take place in September. This means reading everything that has ever been written ever... and I'm all kinds of nervous about it. Russia will not help me with the studying.
- I'm sure there are plenty of other reasons to be scared... I'll go try to read and instead obsess about the things to be scared about.